Tuesday, January 13, 2009

What Won't You Read?

My profile says, "I'll read the back of the cereal box if nothing else is handy," so you might wonder if there's anything I won't read.

In a physical sense, no. If my gaze falls upon a line of print, that baby's read even before I'm aware of having done so. It's that involuntary -- though once I'm aware of what's on the page, I can mentally cross my eyes and block out the rest of it.

But in a voluntary sense -- being a creature of free will and practicing good old fashioned custody of the eyes -- I can and do refrain from reading certain things. Sometimes, it's merely a matter of taste; other times it's a question of integrity. I don't read:

The Uninteresting -- because life is too short to read things that bore you. Like the sports page or auto repair manuals. But dull comic strips are perhaps the greatest offenders because by nature they are supposed to be funny. (I bet Thomas Aquinas has written something about this.) For me, the most boring comic strip in the world is Marmaduke. It has only one joke: The Dog Is Big. But Ziggy is a close second: it has no joke at all. Neither does Love is . . . , though it was never intended to be funny, I guess. (It is, however, very boring.)

Hate Literature -- especially the kind Jack Chick leaves tucked under your windshield wipers. (Okay, so I have read a couple. That's how I know they're hate literature. Though some are merely inept, another reason to give them a miss.)

The Inept -- again, life is too short. Unless the work in question is so bad as to make me giggle.

The Icky -- anything in the horror genre, erotica, pornography, or the depiction of torture . . . that kind of stuff. Also anything with "Precious Moments" illustrations!

What won't you read?


T said...

Anti-Catholic novels like "Da Vinci Code" and "The Shack".

Sherwood said...

Horror, political tracts. Anything about sports.

Warren said...

You made my day. Precious Moments and Porn are both awful things.

"Da Vinci Code", "The Shack", and "Celestine Prophecy" belong together in the "stupid beyond all belief" category.

And then there's the Purpose Driven Life, and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Wombats. Don't get me started on that.


Catholic Bibliophagist said...

Omigosh! How could I have forgotten to put political tracts on the list? Must be the Post-Election Repressed Memory Effect.

mrsdarwin said...

I won't touch a cheap romance novel (or even a not-so-cheap one) with a ten-foot stick. I shelved enough of them when I worked at a bookstore to be completely disgusted by the genre. (I was in early pregnancy when I worked at the bookstore, and anything with a cover that was sexually suggestive or grotesque made me nauseous. The worst section was the sex section -- I weaseled out that whenever possible.)

Also, I never read those magazines the Jehovah's Witnesses leave. Nor children's books based on cartoon characters.

Patricia said...

well I'm a librarian and based on the crap I see in libraries what won't I read includes:
1.romance novels - most of 'em are soft porn, erotica and just plain trash
2.anything by Christopher Hitchens
3.horror and vampire stuff
4.manga novels
5.most womens magazines but especially Cosmo

That's about all I can think of right now.